hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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