So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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