I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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