exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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