So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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