The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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