just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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