Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
