Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
