Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
