I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
