I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
