Dual....:-)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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