You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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