well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
