WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
