is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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