the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
