I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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