so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
