I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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