I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
