If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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