If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
