Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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