It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
