So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
