does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
