I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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