Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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