She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
