I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
