I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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