Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
