So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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