you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
