i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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