Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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