haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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