our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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