belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
