Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
