Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
