He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
