You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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