i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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