i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize
