We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
