Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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