At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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