pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
