Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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