So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
