i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
