she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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