It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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