Got a toothbrush?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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