i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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