that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize