I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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