he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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