She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
please don't ironically join a cult
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