with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did I show you my penis last night?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
