Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
