saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
