wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
